Tag Archives: Mortal Kombat

Whateva, I Do What I Want – 05 Aug 2012

5 Aug

Hey Lovelies!

Okay, this is not about to be some angsty teen rebellion post. Rather, I just have something I want to get off of my chest. *Deep breath* Alright, here it goes – I don’t care what the critics say, I am going to watch Total Recall and I am going to enjoy myself!

The remake of the unarguably badass Schwarzenegger classic of the same name (that’s right, I called Total Recall a classic) had some tough competition. It did, after all, come out in a summer movie season that included Marvel’s The Avengers (fuck yessssssssss! Yes! Go Marvel! Go Marvel!), The Amazing Spider-Man, and The Dark Angst Knight Rises. I mean, how is anyone supposed to compete with Baman, Piderman, and the Avengers? Too much. Not to mention, The Bourne Legacy will be released next week – and that looks like it’s going to be a good one. All of this on top of the fact that it’s a trend now-a-days to rag on remakes.  There’s a group of action film and sci-fi fans who went in to this movie already “knowing” that the Collin Farrell portrayal would not stack up to Arnold’s (and an even smaller group who went in to both films “knowing” that nothing would be able to compare to the Philip K. Dick novel on which both films are based). The odds were definitely stacked up against Total Recall being a well-loved and well-reviewed film.

To get to the point, I have a very small hunch that critics tend to disagree with me when it comes to action films in general. Action has never been a genre of film that has been considered “high art” and is often sneered at for featuring nothing but oiled-up dudes, boobs, and ‘splosions. I don’t know, sometimes you want to watch something that is enlightening and makes you laugh, cry, and adopt a puppy. But sometimes, a mindless barrage of explosions, tits, and hot guys is all I want out of life.  Just remember…no more than three tits on one girl, then it’s just weird. I digress, some of my favorite action films of all time have been poorly reviewed. In the middle of writing this blog post, I’m going to look at the Rotten Tomatoes pages of five of my favorite action films – Judge Dredd, Bloodsport, The Expendables, Mortal Kombat, and of course the original Total Recall. I really hope these films weren’t well reviewed, since it will hurt the case I’m trying to make here… Also, I promise that it’s a coincidence that the stars of all but one of the above mentioned films are going to be in The Expendables 2. Actually, a character from Mortal Kombat is based on Jean-Claude Van Damme…

1. Judge Dredd (1995)

  • RT rating – 15%…Don’t worry, babe, I still love you. You are the law.
  • Harshest critique – Mike LaSalle of the San Francisco Chronicle says “Usually engaging and sympathetic, Stallone is blank and tongue-tied here, an immovable slab in the midst of 95 minutes of gunfire, explosions and Gothic excess.”

2. Bloodsport (1986)

  • RT rating – 33% …Oh.
  • Harshest critique – TV Guide’s movie guide stated “Strictly a film for martial arts buffs; little is offered here in the way of plot, dialogue, or acting.”

3. The Expendables (2010)

  • RT rating – 40%
  • Harshest critique – Peter Travers of Rolling Stone says “It’s not the age of the actors that makes Expendables expendable. It’s the stale storytelling. “

4. Mortal Kombat (1995)

  • RT rating – 34% 1% higher than Bloodsport, the movie it drew inspiration from.
  • Harshest critique – Sean Means of film.com says (and this is a gem) “The movie that most nearly approximates a video game: lots of action, no plot, eye-catching computer effects, and a dollop of violence.” What games is this guy playing that have zero plot? Hell, I’d say the Mortal Kombat games have too much plot. I mean that as a compliment, by the way…

5. Total Recall (1990)

  • RT rating – 84% Wow. Wasn’t expecting the critics to actually be…right. Maybe it’s because this isn’t a *traditional* action film
  • Harshest critique – Rita Kempley of the Washington Post says “A gratuitous explosion of vainglory and guts, the movie is all firecrackers and giblets and broken glass. The overall effect is like wading through hospital waste.”

The point of all that is, while there are some action movies that critics love (Total Recall, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard), a lot of my favorite action films have been universally hated by critics. And Total Recall is the type of film that should have a good plot, dialogue, and acting…I will probably enjoy the movie even if those things are not present. The critics’ words have no affect on the way I view the movie, and I am still excited to see it!

– I’ve got a Kumite to attend, talk to ya later.

xxx Kai


Obligatory Mortal Kombat Post – 16 July 2012

16 Jul

Hey there, Friends!

From a post I did a while back, you will recall me ranting about the rumored premise of an upcoming Mortal Kombat film directed by Kevin Tancharoen. Well, here’s a bit of an update – the second season of Tancharoen’s webseries, Mortal Kombat: Legacy, has just been announced.

KTanch’s (KTanch is his twitter handle, so I can call him that without sounding like a douche, right?) gritty retelling of the Mortal Kombat story was pretty well-received by critics and fans alike when it premiered on YouTube in 2011. I, personally, still don’t know how I feel about it. I mean, the Scorpion/Sub-Zero episode was pretty close to the original story. And seeing Johnny Cage as a down-and-out actor was amazing. Seriously, I could do a whole ‘nother blog post on how much I loved the Johnny Cage episode. But there were huge misses in the series for me. Giving Raiden a lobotomy and putting him in a mental institution is not “edgy”, it broke my heart and made me more nervous that entertained. I don’t want to see Raiden that vulnerable, if you want to see a vulnerable thunder god done right, look at Mortal Kombat (2011). And the Mileena/Kitana episodes were just plain boring and creepy…

Fangirl rants, aside, if you were iffy on Mortal Kombat: Legacy, like I was – season 2 promises none of the silly backstory and all tourney action! Let’s be honest, we don’t like MK for the story (the story is confusing as hell, anyway) and with ten minute episodes, it’s better to be more action heavy than story heavy. So, I was kind of excited when I saw the announcement trailer. Also, the roster includes fan favorites – well, my favorites – Kenshi and Ermac. Still no Reptile, which is odd. But I don’t really like Reptile. And I’m fine as long as there is no Hsu Hao! Here’s the video, the roster is listed at the end, pay attention or you may miss somebody!

But, um, what does this news mean for the Mortal Kombat movie we’ve been waiting for since that Mortal Kombat Rebirth video appeared on YouTube? *shakes fist in air* Tancharoen!

– Kai xxx

PS…Here’s episode 1 of Legacy, in case you need to catch up!

Random Musings – 18 June 2012

18 Jun

Alright, I didn’t know what to write about for today’s blog post…but luckily…I just came across this article…


According to this article, the new Mortal Kombat film may feature a main character that works in a supermarket and later discovers that he has special abilities? Um…excuse me, but how could that possibly work? Let’s break this down. The humans in Mortal Kombat – specifically the earlier games, because let’s be real, Kobra isn’t going to be the main character here – are Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Sonya, Johnny Cage, Jax, Sub-Zero, Kano, and Stryker. Kano is evil, so he’s out. Sonya, Stryker, and Jax don’t really have superpowers, so they’re out. Okay, let’s face it…the main character is going to be Liu Kang. They at least have to keep that part correct.

And who even knows what the plot could be? Will Raiden be the manager of this supermarket? Is Shao Kahn going to be the owner of a large commercial chain that wants to buy out Raiden’s more homey supermarket to become the ruler of the realms…er…supermarket world? And more importantly, is Johnny Cage a paper or a plastic guy? 

The fact of the matter is, the thing I’ve always loved about Mortal Kombat is that it is significantly darker than most fighting games. There can still be corniness in the games and it still – at least in the beginning – follows the well known tournament format, but at times the story could be a little more b-horror flick than action movie. Half-dragons, over the top gore, centaurs, vampires, soul-stealers, acid-spitting lizards, and men forced to become more machine than human. All of that lost in the supermarket. It almost brings a tear to my eye, but Warner Bros…you had better make it work!

– Sorry for the rant, guys!

Kai xxx

Special Father’s Day Post – 17 June 2012

18 Jun

Hello, everyone!

It’s almost 3 am and I’m sitting here just jamming to Beyonce’ and I completely forgot that I was supposed to be blogging everyday! So, let’s just pretend that it’s still the 17th. It may as well be!  Since it is Father’s Day here in the States, I am going to do a countdown of my Top Ten Fictional Fathers! Woo! (No Explainations Needed :P)

10 – Max Payne (Rockstar games’ Max Payne series)


9 –  Cameron and Mitchell (tie) (Modern Family)

8 – Forrest Gump (Forrest Gump)


7 –  Odin (Norse Mythology, Marvel Comics)


6 – Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)

5 – John Marston (Rockstar games’ Red Dead Redemption)

4 – Darth Vader (Star Wars film series)

File:Darth Vader.jpg

3 – Tenzin (Nickelodeon TV show, The Legend of Korra)

2 – Magneto (Marvel Comics’ character)


1 – Scorpion (NetherRealm studios’ Mortal Kombat series, spin-offs, and movies)

Scorpion mkvsdc.jpg

*Bonus –

My least favorite fictional father is Marvel’s cigar smoking mutant, Wolverine. I don’t like him, he’s grumpy, not a team player, and doesn’t exactly have a relationship with his son (Daken)

Ted Mosby doesn’t make the list, because it’s taking him a million years to tell his children how he met their mother!

– Tell me in the comments who you’d put on your Top Ten and happy (belated) Father’s Day to the daddies!

Kai xxx

all pictures are taken from the Wikipedia pages of the respective characters. I don’t own any of the images or characters or anything associated with the characters. Blah, blah, blah you know this already, but I just had to say it.